Hello family and friends! i know I sent an email yesterday, and unfortunetly i now have to give an update.
After I left from emailing we went to lunch normal. and after lunch my symptoms started back up. The tingling has gotten worse in both legs and arms. especially in my right arm and hand. I also have these weird red marks all over my skin. (could be a virus? no idea im not the doctor!)
The mission Doctor who is in Sao paulo called me to talk about all the symptoms i have been having. Hes american, it was nice telling in english. He has no offical response yet, and is investigating everything…. he has delt with alot of missionaries. im in good hands!
President has decided to take me out of my area on an emergency transfer and i will be going to florianopolis tomorrow. sister rocha will be going with me to stay with me for a few days. I already have an appointment with a nuerologist there. (i remembered the fancy term!!!) But, The mission doctor and president have both talked to me so i can prepare myself a little mentally. that If they cant find answers in florianopolis its most likely that i will be going home for further treatment. But if they find a treatment i will be staying in florianopolis for the next 2 transfers to finish my mission there to be close to president.
My world seems to be crashing down around me. This has by far been the best area of my mission. Its breaking my heart knowing that i will be leaving so fast like this. I just want to work. And the thought of coming home early from my mission is breaking me into pieces. and i never thought that this would be my story. BUT. I know. with all my heart that our heavenly father has a perfect plan for everyone of us. And i know that i have to have faith in that plan. I am hopeful that I will go there, they will tell me great news give me some medicine and i can finish out my last 2 transfers. But, I have to have faith in the will of the Lord. That sometiems what we want isnt what we need. and as my dad always said, hope for the best but plan for the worst! Our savior really is giving me strength.
As i was packing up all my things today. (worst thing ever.) I was taking down all my quotes and pictures from my wall above my desk. I stopped and read a quote my mom sent me from my first transfer. “In the middle of difficulty lies oportunity.” I love this. Because this is definetly one of the hardest weeks ive had. But, I know here lies oportunity.
2 corinthians 4:17-18
For our light affliction, which is but a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal: But the things which are not seen are eternal.
As i sat in one of my MRIs i was thinking, Im here in this situation… i have no idea whats going on or what the doctor is seeing right now. But he has a far better view and knowledge than me. I was stuck in the machine!
I had to wait hours for him to come talk to me, to tell me what he saw. from his point of view with his knowledge.
I couldnt help but thinking of our loving knowledgable father in Heaven.
His view is so much better than ours. He can see everything,
and we may not get the “results” of our trials right when we want them. but they will always come. He has a plan. We just have to trust in it. I know we have trials to strengthen us. for “an eternal weight of glory.” even if we cant see these things right now. these trials that i can physically see right now will leave me with something i cant see, growth and strength. these trials are temporal, lessons learned are eternal.
I can feel our saviors love. He suffered these same things for me. I know he is with me every step of the way.
I can do all things through christ which strengtheneth me.
Who knows, could be that tomorrow everything will be back to normal and i will be coming home in november as originially planned.
But… if thats not Gods plan I know he will help me through it.
Thank you all so much for your prayers. I love you all so much!!!
Ill be keeping you updated! just know im in good spirits